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    September 30

    September Paranoia

    In a week time it'll be the end of September and I thought I have already forgotten the past and yet it is still haunting me until now. As a matter of fact, I fear this month coz there is this feeling of paranoia that something so unexpected will happen again. I never liked residing in an emotional trance ever since this remorseful love story happened.


    Cliché, yet like everybody else I have also a fair share of a regretful love story.It was this month when I started to believe that forever does not really exist. Happily ever after will always remain as a tale and it is not existent in the real life. I became so inferior and felt so insecure about everything. I grieved for a long time and it was etched in my heart that there is really no true love and men are all born to be polygamous. It is their uncontested ego which lulls them to the boulevard of infidelity. My apology to my unfair way of thinking yet I thought that way for over five years now.

    Whew, it's been five years and I can still freshly remember every single moment of bitterness and lie. I thought I have already buried the past but whenever there is an occurrence which elicits it I felt like the hands of time pushed me again to go back and let me feel that rueful moment in my life.

    Thoughts of letting go…

    Letting go is the inner action that releases the fear and upset. The moment you let go, everything seems to change. With the fear and upset gone, you see your situation very differently. You become creative and discover solutions that you could never have seen before.

    Holding on causes tension and restricts freedom. Letting go does not mean losing or having to give something up. Letting go means allowing things to exist as if they were in the palm of your hand.


    This is what happens in life. The more you are able to let go and flow with life, the more life takes care of itself. You may not always get what you want, but you can always be free inside. You can restore both your peace of mind and your effectiveness. You can create a life that works.